Satan Claus, Crafted@the Canal & Yes, Greta

Meet Satan Claus. Or rather, understand him. You know you’ve met him before.

Call it a Jewish girl’s Christmas cynicism, but frankly Santa and Satan have a lot in common. Fond of the color red. Inciting envy and stirring up temptations and lusts and whatnot. And Santa does all of this on Jesus’ birthday! Stealing the spotlight from the baby Jesus- how much more satanic can an entity be?

To read up further on the Santa-Satan connection, check out Jeffrey Vallance’s “Santa Is A Wldman” article from the LA Weekly, and I think my point is clear.

Sadly, I do not have any Satan Clauses to sell this year, because my wrist is hurt and I can’t work with clay. If you love Satan Claus and can’t live without him, email me at whatitis[at]turalura[dot]com and I will try and make one for you as soon as possible. It just won’t be before Christmas.

He is 100% handmade except for his belt buckle. His face, hands, nails and little cloven hooves are made of modeling clay; his body is made of red gauze-wrapped wire (so he’s posable!); his suit is made of red velvet and white fake fur, and his boots are made of fur, vinyl and cardboard. He also comes with a Santa hat, a fake beard (because sometimes I think of him as a Satan who steals Santa’s costume and replaces all the toys with lumps of coal) and is, ahem, anatomically correct. His pants are not made to come off though, so if you must, please feel Satan Claus up through his pants. TuraLura is not responsible for anything that might ensue as a result of getting your Satan Claus nekkid. Oh, and newer versions than the one in the picture have tails to help them stand upright.

However. Crafted at the Canal is happening! There are lots of super-talented crafters, I’ve sold a bunch of awesomeness, and lots of it is only and exclusively available live from me at the craft fair until after December 18 when it will all be over. And Build It Green! Gowanus is an amazing and inspiring place, which you will love.

Further however. Despite my Christmas cynicism, I actually know and love quite a few people who love Christmas with pure hearts, and I have the utmost respect for those people. So for them, I offer this holiday season anecdote:

One of the vendors at the craft fair is a farmer who is selling winter vegetable CSA shares. He has a 4-year-old daughter who comes along. She’s a very delightful, cheerful child, and I like children, and today we played together a little when it wasn’t so busy.

She pretended to be a doll under the big BIG Christmas tree. And then I made a Christmas wish, and I wished very hard, and she turned into a real little girl.

Then she told me that Santa Claus was 15 years old. “So he won’t die for a long time.”

A moment later, though, he was only 13. I couldn’t quite stand for that, somehow.

“Santa Claus can’t be only in junior high school,” I protested. “He is old. Very old. But it’s okay, because Santa can’t die.”

“Because he’s magic, right?”

“That’s right.”

Comments are closed.